2011: The Year of Loving Courageously
I decided in this post to take a look back at 2011 and reflect on the wild and transformative times of my past year. It was an intense period filled with highs and lows, with only short periods of ease and flow. I learned, grew, explored, played, stretched, served, suffered, and rejoiced. I made some hard decisions. I mourned the loss of a love, and celebrated the discovery of a new one. Facing fears and creating healthier relationships were definitely major themes. So much happened, but here are some of the biggies…
New Life
In March I met my nephew Henry, born in February on my mother’s birthday, which was also the one-year anniversary of my parents’ remarriage. A blessing for our family, especially for my sister and brother-in-law, and all were healthy and happy.
I have not often been privileged in my life to hold and interact with newborns. There is an amazing energy to infants- they carry great peace and wisdom. I experienced a great deal of wonder, inspiration, hope, and love. Many questions arose…what really is life? Where do we come from? How do two cells grow into a body containing 50 trillion? I have certain beliefs and theories, but in the presence of new life, all I really wanted was to let the questions be, and give as much love to this being as possible in the short time I had there.
Picking Up the Pieces
In late 2010, my former partner and I ended our relationship of about 18 months. Although the separation was attended to with care and love, with intentions to remain close friends, our connection quickly faded. By the end of January I was feeling an intense sense of loss, shame, fear, and grief. It took me somewhat by surprise, because I had been through breakup heartache before and foolishly thought I had a handle on it. As I began to see the patterns I had once again carried in relationship, I was horrified. I’ve been working on eliminating negative patterns for 15 years not even counting therapy during my high school years. Yet there they were, plain and heavy as bricks.
Emotional Intelligence
Fortunately, I attended a Emotional Freedom Technique Training in January, and the information and skills I learned there proved to be a huge asset in moving through the pain, and beginning to work with the patterns in new ways. It remains one of my primary Go-To practices when stressful situations and feelings arise.
Letting Go
In May I filed a bankruptcy petition. The reasons for the circumstances are many, and it was a hard decision that I avoided for many years. I felt ashamed, afraid, angry, excited. I felt irresponsible and a failure. But I had to face facts: I had carried a tremendous debt for years. I had incurred it largely on behalf of others. I had not been able to reduce it. It was impeding my growth and adversely affecting my health and relationships. I felt a huge relief when it was done, and I remain incredibly grateful to be free of that burden.
New Love
I met Erin at a networking event for “evolutionary entrepreneurs”. I was not actively looking for love, but I had released my confusion about whether or not I wanted to commit to a relationship. I had let the universe know that I really, truly did want a life partner and would wait for the right woman to present herself.
I knew Erin was special as soon as we met, although I didn’t immediately think we would get together. We connected at various times over the weekend, and after the event we began talking every day, quickly growing close although we lived 700 miles apart.
Developing our relationship has not been all bliss, however. There has been wonderful and copious sweetness, joy, and inspiration, but there’s also been a lot of intense work required. No matter how much love is present, intimate relationships bring up our negative patterns. How we respond to those occurrences is what determines the health of the relationship.
We had about a month before our patterns presented themselves for the first time. But we committed early and earnestly to moving through conflict and building a solid foundation together. We kept at it as the months went by and we considered all the options for bringing our lives together. Three weeks ago we arrived here in Bloomington with a truckload of her belongings!
Professional Development
My skill and confidence as a healer and coach has grown dramatically in the past year. Adding EFT to my toolbox has been incredible, and refining Body Visioning and Dialogue has resulted in amazing transformations for people with chronic pain and other health issues.
Online, this gorgeous new website was completed in August, and I have begun adding to this blog on a regular basis.
Additionally over the year, I led 6 well-attended and powerfully transformative workshops, and a full day retreat co-facilitated with Erin, who is a brilliant and gifted teacher and artist.
The holidays were fun and lively, with gatherings, feasting, light, and friends, as well as times of rest and quiet. We’ve also been busy arranging and beautifying our home, as well as getting acquainted with living together. The journey continues…
As 2012 moves ahead, I feel many things- excited, proud, content, hopeful, sometimes exhausted. Soon I’ll share a look at what’s happening currently and my vision for this amazing year.
How was 2011 for you? What experiences impacted you the most? What did you learn, achieve, or create?
Welcome to 2012! May it be the best year of your life yet!
Peace, Love, Joy,
David
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